I'm reading The Federalist Papers by Publius (aka Alexander Hamilton, James Madison, John Jay). And, yes, this read is most definitely for fun. I AM IN LOVE WITH JAMES MADISON'S WRITING STYLE.

I'm also re-reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I love this book.

Reading and writing is my life. I would certainly recommend reading The Federalist Papers. Along with anything written by Chuck Palahniuk, J.R.R. Tolkien, J.K. Rowling and a few other authors that have escaped my memory at this time. I'll get back to you with a list. In the near future. Hopefully.

I made a promise to myself over the summer that I would do the best that I could this year, senior year, my final year in high school. I think I can handle my schedule fairly well this time around, with only two AP classes. It's only the third day of school and I don't feel stressed. Yet.

The weather was unbearable today. It was around ninety-one degrees. The classrooms were sticky, humid, and counter-productive to the learning process. On top of that, I had not woken up earlier in the morning to eat before sunrise. So, without the tiniest bit of food or water in my stomach, I felt drained. Such a lesson to learn. It was unbelievable. I didn't want to break my fast, so I did not, because all I felt was thirst and not hunger.

Anyway, all is well now. I'm feeling very content and full. And it's about time I finish my homework. :)

I finally found a decent layout to replace the other lime one. I found this one at www.createblog.com. The site doesn't really have many Live Journal layouts, but there are other icons, graphics, and interesting things to be found there.

No, I did not intend to use a Green Day song title for the subject of this entry. But it seemed kind of fitting. Here, allow me to explain why:

Today is the first day of Ramadan. Ramadan Mubarak to all my Muslim friends and non-Muslim friends alike! I welcome September with both open arms and apprehension. Tomorrow is also the first day of school, the first day of senior year, and the first day of insane decisions waiting to be made.

I am both excited and slightly scared of the journey ahead of me. My parents want me to stay here in New York for college. But I can't. I don't want to. I can't have that at all. I don't know why I can't see it in their perspective. My dad sort of agrees with me. I know my parents love me and that they want the very best for me, but I can't stay here. As much as I love New York, I feel constricted. Maybe a change of air might be good for me. Maybe not.

I'm at the stage of my life where I don't really know what to do; if I don't trust my gut, who or what can I trust? 

On another note, Rihanna's song "Disturbia" is very, very, very catchy. It's been stuck in my head for the past weekend.

I remember wishing I were British, sometimes. I remember wishing I was born in London, or lived there. Or lived in Germany. I dunno. Maybe because of all of my relatives living there. Who knows.

Anyway, I have my math exam (again) tomorrow morning. So. Wish me luck. I don't think I'm prepared enough, so I'm going to take another practice test and see what happens. I'm a little nervous now, I admit it.

Yes! Heath Ledger's performance as the Joker was amazing. His Joker made me want to see the movie in the first place! Ledger's dedication to the role (living a month by himself in his apartment) is even noteworthy (although, I think other actresses and actors have also done similar preparations for their respective roles). The little quirks he gave Joker - a lopsided walk, a serpent-like tongue - only added to the depth of this twisted, anarchic character.

I need a new layout. I need to make up my mind if this is friends only or permanently public. If it's friends only, then I need a new friends only banner. And new hair. I think I will get a haircut, soon. Maybe some bangs? idk

Jeez, I haven't updated this thing in forever.

ROFL I NEED A NEW MOOD THEME.


Also: I miss you all.

ALSO ALSO: I need more time to study. wtf. Test in three days D: 

I like that word. "asphyxiate."

What I don't like is this APUSH DBQ waiting for me. And the rest of my homework to finish. Aha, but let's not go there.

Life has been very strange lately. My friend, Maria, and I have come up with a new motto to solve all our troubles: Fuck life! No, no, not literally. I'm just putting it out there, amidst all of our angst-ridden teenage troubles.

I hate staying up late. I hate being tired all the time. I hate not feeling competent, adequate, whole. I feel as if I'm slowly deteriorating, a little bit of me escaping every day. Is this normal? I feel as if I'm lagging all the time, behind the synchronized time frame of the present situation. But I am only exaggerating. or is it an exaggeration?

Sure, there are ups and downs to everyone's life. But right now, in this very moment, whenever I look in the mirror, I see a desperate little girl trying to cope with everyone else's problems. I see inconsistencies in my work, everywhere I look. I want to stop and take a breather, break free of the smothering hold that my unusually high expectations have on me.

Why can't I let this go?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7053982.stm

It's true! Just click on the link and read the story.

Okay. I'm going to admit that even though I had always suspected Dumbledore's orientation as being not-so-straight, I was still a bit shocked. I mean, consider all the time he was spending with Harry and that the books never really mentioned any love interests. He was *just* the headmaster, and nothing more. Jo never really delved deep into Dumbles' personal life. I just think it's awesome that such a popular children's book would feature a prominent and important character as gay. I agree with most of what Jo said - especially about the fan fiction - and her books being a "prolonged argument for tolerance."

Do you think that she should have revealed it earlier on in the books or is this late "coming out" justified, maybe considering parents and the emotional maturity of children? I think book sales wouldn't have been the same, especially since homosexuality is such a hot topic nowadays.

To Whom It May Concern:

The reason this entry is public is because I have something important to say. I think I will make my journal public from now on because I can't sit in stony silence any longer.